IV
I would not give a groat for that manвАЩs knowledge in pencraft, who does not understand this,вБ†вЄЇвБ†That the best plain narrative in the world, tacked very close to the last spirited apostrophe to my uncle TobyвБ†вЄЇвБ†would have felt both cold and vapid upon the readerвАЩs palate;вБ†вАФtherefore I forthwith put an end to the chapter, though I was in the middle of my story.
вЄїWriters of my stamp have one principle in common with painters. Where an exact copying makes our pictures less striking, we choose the less evil; deeming it even more pardonable to trespass against truth, than beauty. This is to be understood cum grano salis; but be it as it will,вБ†вАФas the parallel is made more for the sake of letting the apostrophe cool, than anything else,вБ†вАФвАЩtis not very material whether upon any other score the reader approves of it or not.
In the latter end of the third year, my uncle Toby perceiving that the parameter and semiparameter of the conic section angered his wound, he left off the study of projectiles in a kind of a huff, and betook himself to the practical part of fortification only; the pleasure of which, like a spring held back, returned upon him with redoubled force.
It was in this year that my uncle began to break in upon the daily regularity of a clean shirt,вБ†вЄЇвБ†to dismiss his barber unshaven,вБ†вЄЇвБ†and to allow his surgeon scarce time sufficient to dress his wound, concerning himself so little about it, as not to ask him once in seven times dressing, how it went on: when, lo!вБ†вАФall of a sudden, for the change was quick as lightning, he began to sigh heavily for his recovery,вБ†вЄЇвБ†complained to my father, grew impatient with the surgeon:вБ†вЄЇвБ†and one morning, as he heard his foot coming upstairs, he shut up his books, and thrust aside his instruments, in order to expostulate with him upon the protraction of the cure, which, he told him, might surely have been accomplished at least by that time:вБ†вАФHe dwelt long upon the miseries he had undergone, and the sorrows of his four years melancholy imprisonment;вБ†вАФadding, that had it not been for the kind looks and fraternal cheerings of the best of brothers,вБ†вАФhe had long since sunk under his misfortunes.вБ†вЄЇвБ†My father was by: My uncle TobyвАЩs eloquence brought tears into his eyes;вБ†вЄЇвАЩtwas unexpected:вБ†вЄЇвБ†My uncle Toby, by nature was not eloquent;вБ†вАФit had the greater effect:вБ†вЄЇвБ†The surgeon was confounded;вБ†вЄЇвБ†not that there wanted grounds for such, or greater marks of impatience,вБ†вАФbut вАЩtwas unexpected too; in the four years he had attended him, he had never seen anything like it in my uncle TobyвАЩs carriage; he had never once dropped one fretful or discontented word;вБ†вЄЇвБ†he had been all patience,вБ†вАФall submission.
вАФWe lose the right of complaining sometimes by forbearing it;вБ†вАФbut we often treble the force:вБ†вАФThe surgeon was astonished; but much more so, when he heard my uncle Toby go on, and peremptorily insist upon his healing up the wound directly,вБ†вАФor sending for Monsieur Ronjat, the kingвАЩs serjeant-surgeon, to do it for him.
The desire of life and health is implanted in manвАЩs nature;вБ†вЄЇвБ†the love of liberty and enlargement is a sister-passion to it: These my uncle Toby had in common with his species;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and either of them had been sufficient to account for his earnest desire to get well and out of doors;вБ†вЄЇвБ†but I have told you before, that nothing wrought with our family after the common way;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and from the time and manner in which this eager desire showed itself in the present case, the penetrating reader will suspect there was some other cause or crotchet for it in my uncle TobyвАЩs head:вБ†вЄЇвБ†There was so, and вАЩtis the subject of the next chapter to set forth what that cause and crotchet was. I own, when thatвАЩs done, вАЩtwill be time to return back to the parlour fireside, where we left my uncle Toby in the middle of his sentence.