XXI + 

Every day for at least ten years together did my father resolve to have it mendedвБ†вАФвАЩtis not mended yet;вБ†вАФno family but ours would have borne with it an hourвБ†вЄЇвБ†and what is most astonishing, there was not a subject in the world upon which my father was so eloquent, as upon that of door-hinges.вБ†вЄЇвБ†And yet at the same time, he was certainly one of the greatest bubbles to them, I think, that history can produce: his rhetorick and conduct were at perpetual handy-cuffs.вБ†вАФNever did the parlour-door openвБ†вАФbut his philosophy or his principles fell a victim to it;вБ†вЄЇвБ†three drops of oil with a feather, and a smart stroke of a hammer, had saved his honour forever. + 

вЄЇвБ†Inconsistent soul that man is!вБ†вЄЇвБ†languishing under wounds, which he has the power to heal!вБ†вАФhis whole life a contradiction to his knowledge!вБ†вАФhis reason, that precious gift of God to himвБ†вАФ(instead of pouring in oil) serving but to sharpen his sensibilitiesвБ†вАФto multiply his pains, and render him more melancholy and uneasy under themвБ†вАФPoor unhappy creature, that he should do so!вБ†вЄЇвБ†Are not the necessary causes of misery in this life enow, but he must add voluntary ones to his stock of sorrow;вБ†вАФstruggle against evils which cannot be avoided, and submit to others, which a tenth part of the trouble they create him would remove from his heart forever? + 

By all that is good and virtuous, if there are three drops of oil to be got, and a hammer to be found within ten miles of Shandy HallвБ†вЄїthe parlour door hinge shall be mended this reign. + 