VIII
When the precipitancy of a manвАЩs wishes hurries on his ideas ninety times faster than the vehicle he rides inвБ†вАФwoe be to truth! and woe be to the vehicle and its tackling (let вАЩem be made of what stuff you will) upon which he breathes forth the disappointment of his soul!
As I never give general characters either of men or things in choler, вАЬthe most haste the worst speed,вАЭ was all the reflection I made upon the affair, the first time it happenвАЩd;вБ†вАФthe second, third, fourth, and fifth time, I confined it respectively to those times, and accordingly blamed only the second, third, fourth, and fifth postboy for it, without carrying my reflections further; but the event continuing to befall me from the fifth, to the sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth time, and without one exception, I then could not avoid making a national reflection of it, which I do in these words;
That something is always wrong in a French post-chaise, upon first setting out.
Or the proposition may stand thus:
A French postilion has always to alight before he has got three hundred yards out of town.
WhatвАЩs wrong now?вБ†вЄЇвБ†Diable!вБ†вЄЇвБ†a ropeвАЩs broke!вБ†вЄЇвБ†a knot has slipt!вБ†вЄЇвБ†a stapleвАЩs drawn!вБ†вЄЇвБ†a boltвАЩs to whittle!вБ†вЄЇвБ†a tag, a rag, a jag, a strap, a buckle, or a buckleвАЩs tongue, want altering.
Now true as all this is, I never think myself impowered to excommunicate thereupon either the post-chaise, or its driverвБ†вЄЇвБ†nor do I take it into my head to swear by the living GвБ†вЄЇ, I would rather go afoot ten thousand timesвБ†вЄЇвБ†or that I will be damnвАЩd, if ever I get into anotherвБ†вЄЇвБ†but I take the matter coolly before me, and consider, that some tag, or rag, or jag, or bolt, or buckle, or buckleвАЩs tongue, will ever be a wanting, or want altering, travel where I willвБ†вАФso I never chaff, but take the good and the bad as they fall in my road, and get on:вБ†вЄЇвБ†Do so, my lad! said I; he had lost five minutes already, in alighting in order to get at a luncheon of black bread, which he had crammвАЩd into the chaise-pocket, and was remounted, and going leisurely on, to relish it the betterвБ†вЄЇвБ†Get on, my lad, said I, brisklyвБ†вАФbut in the most persuasive tone imaginable, for I jingled a four-and-twenty sous piece against the glass, taking care to hold the flat side towards him, as he lookвАЩd back: the dog grinnвАЩd intelligence from his right ear to his left, and behind his sooty muzzle discovered such a pearly row of teeth, that Sovereignty would have pawnвАЩd her jewels for them.вБ†вЄЇвБ†
Just heaven!
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What masticators!вБ†вАФ
What bread!вБ†вАФ
and so as he finished the last mouthful of it, we entered the town of Montreuil.