XXIX
I am glad of it, said I, settling the account with myself, as I walkвАЩd into LyonsвБ†вЄЇвБ†my chaise being all laid higgledy-piggledy with my baggage in a cart, which was moving slowly before meвБ†вЄЇвБ†I am heartily glad, said I, that вАЩtis all broke to pieces; for now I can go directly by water to Avignon, which will carry me on a hundred and twenty miles of my journey, and not cost me seven livresвБ†вЄЇвБ†and from thence, continued I, bringing forwards the account, I can hire a couple of mulesвБ†вАФor asses, if I like (for nobody knows me) and cross the plains of Languedoc for almost nothingвБ†вЄЇвБ†I shall gain four hundred livres by the misfortune clear into my purse: and pleasure! worthвБ†вАФworth double the money by it. With what velocity, continued I, clapping my two hands together, shall I fly down the rapid Rhone, with the Vivares on my right hand, and Dauphiny on my left, scarce seeing the ancient cities of Vienne, Valence, and Vivieres. What a flame will it rekindle in the lamp, to snatch a blushing grape from the Hermitage and C√іte roti, as I shoot by the foot of them! and what a fresh spring in the blood! to behold upon the banks advancing and retiring, the castles of romance, whence courteous knights have whilome rescued the distressвАЩdвБ†вЄЇвБ†and see vertiginous, the rocks, the mountains, the cataracts, and all the hurry which Nature is in with all her great works about her.
As I went on thus, methought my chaise, the wreck of which lookвАЩd stately enough at the first, insensibly grew less and less in its size; the freshness of the painting was no moreвБ†вАФthe gilding lost its lustreвБ†вАФand the whole affair appeared so poor in my eyesвБ†вАФso sorry!вБ†вАФso contemptible! and, in a word, so much worse than the abbess of Ando√ЉilletsвАЩ itselfвБ†вАФthat I was just opening my mouth to give it to the devilвБ†вАФwhen a pert vamping chaise-undertaker, stepping nimbly across the street, demanded if Monsieur would have his chaise refittedвБ†вЄЇвБ†No, no, said I, shaking my head sidewaysвБ†вАФWould Monsieur choose to sell it? rejoined the undertaker.вБ†вАФWith all my soul, said IвБ†вАФthe iron work is worth forty livresвБ†вАФand the glasses worth forty moreвБ†вАФand the leather you may take to live on.
What a mine of wealth, quoth I, as he counted me the money, has this post-chaise brought me in? And this is my usual method of bookkeeping, at least with the disasters of lifeвБ†вАФmaking a penny of every one of вАЩem as they happen to meвБ†вЄЇвБ†
вЄЇвБ†Do, my dear Jenny, tell the world for me, how I behaved under one, the most oppressive of its kind, which could befall me as a man, proud as he ought to be of his manhoodвБ†вЄЇвБ†
вАЩTis enough, saidst thou, coming close up to me, as I stood with my garters in my hand, reflecting upon what had not passвАЩdвБ†вЄЇвАЩTis enough, Tristram, and I am satisfied, saidst thou, whispering these words in my ear, **** ** **** *** ******;вБ†вАФ**** ** **вБ†вЄЇвБ†any other man would have sunk down to the centerвБ†вЄЇвБ†
вЄЇвБ†Everything is good for something, quoth I.
вЄЇвБ†IвАЩll go into Wales for six weeks, and drink goatвАЩs wheyвБ†вАФand IвАЩll gain seven years longer life for the accident. For which reason I think myself inexcusable, for blaming fortune so often as I have done, for pelting me all my life long, like an ungracious duchess, as I callвАЩd her, with so many small evils: surely, if I have any cause to be angry with her, вАЩtis that she has not sent me great onesвБ†вАФa score of good cursed, bouncing losses, would have been as good as a pension to me.
вЄЇвБ†One of a hundred a year, or so, is all I wishвБ†вАФI would not be at the plague of paying land-tax for a larger.