XIII
Holla!вБ†вЄЇвБ†you, chairman!вБ†вЄЇвБ†hereвАЩs sixpenceвБ†вЄЇвБ†do step into that booksellerвАЩs shop, and call me a day-tall critick. I am very willing to give any one of вАЩem a crown to help me with his tackling, to get my father and my uncle Toby off the stairs, and to put them to bed.
вАФвАЩTis even high time; for except a short nap, which they both got whilst Trim was boring the jackbootsвБ†вАФand which, by the by, did my father no sort of good, upon the score of the bad hingeвБ†вАФthey have not else shut their eyes, since nine hours before the time that Dr.¬†Slop was led into the back parlour in that dirty pickle by Obadiah.
Was every day of my life to be as busy a day as thisвБ†вАФand to take upвБ†вАФTruce.
I will not finish that sentence till I have made an observation upon the strange state of affairs between the reader and myself, just as things stand at presentвБ†вАФan observation never applicable before to any one biographical writer since the creation of the world, but to myselfвБ†вАФand I believe, will never hold good to any other, until its final destructionвБ†вАФand therefore, for the very novelty of it alone, it must be worth your worships attending to.
I am this month one whole year older than I was this time twelvemonth; and having got, as you perceive, almost into the middle of my fourth volumeвБ†вАФand no farther than to my first dayвАЩs lifeвБ†вАФвАЩtis demonstrative that I have three hundred and sixty-four days more life to write just now, than when I first set out; so that instead of advancing, as a common writer, in my work with what I have been doing at itвБ†вАФon the contrary, I am just thrown so many volumes backвБ†вАФwas every day of my life to be as busy a day as thisвБ†вАФAnd why not?вБ†вЄЇвБ†and the transactions and opinions of it to take up as much descriptionвБ†вАФAnd for what reason should they be cut short? as at this rate I should just live 364 times faster than I should writeвБ†вАФIt must follow, anвАЩ please your worships, that the more I write, the more I shall have to writeвБ†вАФand consequently, the more your worships read, the more your worships will have to read.
Will this be good for your worshipsвАЩ eyes?
It will do well for mine; and, was it not that my Opinions will be the death of me, I perceive I shall lead a fine life of it out of this selfsame life of mine; or, in other words, shall lead a couple of fine lives together.
As for the proposal of twelve volumes a year, or a volume a month, it no way alters my prospectвБ†вАФwrite as I will, and rush as I may into the middle of things, as Horace advisesвБ†вАФI shall never overtake myself whippвАЩd and driven to the last pinch; at the worst I shall have one day the start of my penвБ†вАФand one day is enough for two volumesвБ†вЄЇвБ†and two volumes will be enough for one year.вБ†вАФ
Heaven prosper the manufacturers of paper under this propitious reign, which is now opened to usвБ†вЄЇвБ†as I trust its providence will prosper everything else in it that is taken in hand.вБ†вЄЇвБ†
As for the propagation of GeeseвБ†вАФI give myself no concernвБ†вАФNature is all bountifulвБ†вАФI shall never want tools to work with.
вАФSo then, friend! you have got my father and my uncle Toby off the stairs, and seen them to bed?вБ†вЄїAnd how did you manage it?вБ†вЄЇвБ†You droppвАЩd a curtain at the stair-footвБ†вАФI thought you had no other way for itвБ†вЄїHereвАЩs a crown for your trouble.