XV
The article in my motherвАЩs marriage-settlement, which I told the reader I was at the pains to search for, and which, now that I have found it, I think proper to lay before him,вБ†вАФis so much more fully expressвАЩd in the deed itself, than ever I can pretend to do it, that it would be barbarity to take it out of the lawyerвАЩs hand:вБ†вАФIt is as follows.
вАЬAnd this Indenture further witnesseth, That the said Walter Shandy, merchant, in consideration of the said intended marriage to be had, and, by GodвАЩs blessing, to be well and truly solemnised and consummated between the said Walter Shandy and Elizabeth Mollineux aforesaid, and divers other good and valuable causes and considerations him thereunto specially moving,вБ†вАФdoth grant, covenant, condescend, consent, conclude, bargain, and fully agree to and with John Dixon, and James Turner, Esqrs. the above-named Trustees, etc. etc.вБ†вАФto Wit,вБ†вАФThat in case it should hereafter so fall out, chance, happen, or otherwise come to pass,вБ†вАФThat the said Walter Shandy, merchant, shall have left off business before the time or times, that the said Elizabeth Mollineux shall, according to the course of nature, or otherwise, have left off bearing and bringing forth children;вБ†вАФand that, in consequence of the said Walter Shandy having so left off business, he shall in despight, and against the free-will, consent, and good-liking of the said Elizabeth Mollineux,вБ†вАФmake a departure from the city of London, in order to retire to, and dwell upon, his estate at Shandy Hall, in the county of вЄї, or at any other country-seat, castle, hall, mansion-house, messuage or grainge-house, now purchased, or hereafter to be purchased, or upon any part or parcel thereof:вБ†вАФThat then, and as often as the said Elizabeth Mollineux shall happen to be enceint with child or children severally and lawfully begot, or to be begotten, upon the body of the said Elizabeth Mollineux, during her said coverture,вБ†вАФhe the said Walter Shandy shall, at his own proper cost and charges, and out of his own proper monies, upon good and reasonable notice, which is hereby agreed to be within six weeks of her the said Elizabeth MollineuxвАЩs full reckoning, or time of supposed and computed delivery,вБ†вАФpay, or cause to be paid, the sum of one hundred and twenty pounds of good and lawful money, to John Dixon, and James Turner, Esqrs. or assigns,вБ†вАФupon trust and confidence, and for and unto the use and uses, intent, end, and purpose following:вБ†вАФThat is to say,вБ†вАФThat the said sum of one hundred and twenty pounds shall be paid into the hands of the said Elizabeth Mollineux, or to be otherwise applied by them the said Trustees, for the well and truly hiring of one coach, with able and sufficient horses, to carry and convey the body of the said Elizabeth Mollineux, and the child or children which she shall be then and there enceint and pregnant with,вБ†вАФunto the city of London; and for the further paying and defraying of all other incidental costs, charges, and expenses whatsoever,вБ†вАФin and about, and for, and relating to, her said intended delivery and lying-in, in the said city or suburbs thereof. And that the said Elizabeth Mollineux shall and may, from time to time, and at all such time and times as are here covenanted and agreed upon,вБ†вАФpeaceably and quietly hire the said coach and horses, and have free ingress, egress, and regress throughout her journey, in and from the said coach, according to the tenor, true intent, and meaning of these presents, without any let, suit, trouble, disturbance, molestation, discharge, hindrance, forfeiture, eviction, vexation, interruption, or incumbrance whatsoever.вБ†вАФAnd that it shall moreover be lawful to and for the said Elizabeth Mollineux, from time to time, and as oft or often as she shall well and truly be advanced in her said pregnancy, to the time heretofore stipulated and agreed upon,вБ†вАФto live and reside in such place or places, and in such family or families, and with such relations, friends, and other persons within the said city of London, as she at her own will and pleasure, notwithstanding her present coverture, and as if she was a femme sole and unmarried,вБ†вАФshall think fit.вБ†вАФAnd this Indenture further Witnesseth, That for the more effectually carrying of the said covenant into execution, the said Walter Shandy, merchant, doth hereby grant, bargain, sell, release, and confirm unto the said John Dixon, and James Turner, Esqrs. their heirs, executors, and assigns, in their actual possession now being, by virtue of an indenture of bargain and sale for a year to them the said John Dickson, and James Turner, Esqrs. by him the said Walter Shandy, merchant, thereof made; which said bargain and sale for a year, bears date the day next before the date of these presents, and by force and virtue of the statute for transferring of uses into possession,вБ†вАФAll that the manor and lordship of Shandy, in the county of вЄї, with all the rights, members, and appurtenances thereof; and all and every the messuages, houses, buildings, barns, stables, orchards, gardens, backsides, tofts, crofts, garths, cottages, lands, meadows, feedings, pastures, marshes, commons, woods, underwoods, drains, fisheries, waters, and watercourses;вБ†вАФtogether with all rents, reversions, services, annuities, fee-farms, knights fees, views of frankpledge, escheats, reliefs, mines, quarries, goods and chattels of felons and fugitives, felons of themselves, and put in exigent, deodands, free warrens, and all other royalties and seigniories, rights and jurisdictions, privileges and hereditaments whatsoever.вБ†вЄЇвБ†And also the advowson, donation, presentation, and free disposition of the rectory or parsonage of Shandy aforesaid, and all and every the tenths, tythes, glebe-lands.вАЭвБ†вЄЇвБ†In three words,вБ†вЄЇвАЬMy mother was to lay in, (if she chose it) in London.вАЭ
But in order to put a stop to the practice of any unfair play on the part of my mother, which a marriage-article of this nature too manifestly opened a door to, and which indeed had never been thought of at all, but for my uncle Toby Shandy;вБ†вАФa clause was added in security of my father, which was this:вБ†вАФвАЬThat in case my mother hereafter should, at any time, put my father to the trouble and expense of a London journey, upon false cries and tokens;вБ†вЄЇвБ†that for every such instance, she should forfeit all the right and title which the covenant gave her to the next turn;вБ†вЄЇвБ†but to no more,вБ†вАФand so on, toties quoties, in as effectual a manner, as if such a covenant betwixt them had not been made.вАЭвБ†вАФThis, by the way, was no more than what was reasonable;вБ†вАФand yet, as reasonable as it was, I have ever thought it hard that the whole weight of the article should have fallen entirely, as it did, upon myself.
But I was begot and born to misfortunes:вБ†вАФfor my poor mother, whether it was wind or waterвБ†вАФor a compound of both,вБ†вАФor neither;вБ†вАФor whether it was simply the mere swell of imagination and fancy in her;вБ†вАФor how far a strong wish and desire to have it so, might mislead her judgment:вБ†вАФin short, whether she was deceived or deceiving in this matter, it no way becomes me to decide. The fact was this, That in the latter end of September 1717, which was the year before I was born, my mother having carried my father up to town much against the grain,вБ†вАФhe peremptorily insisted upon the clause;вБ†вАФso that I was doomвАЩd, by marriage-articles, to have my nose squeezвАЩd as flat to my face, as if the destinies had actually spun me without one.
How this event came about,вБ†вАФand what a train of vexatious disappointments, in one stage or other of my life, have pursued me from the mere loss, or rather compression, of this one single member,вБ†вАФshall be laid before the reader all in due time.