I + 

NoвБ†вЄЇвБ†I think, I said, I would write two volumes every year, provided the vile cough which then tormented me, and which to this hour I dread worse than the devil, would but give me leaveвБ†вАФand in another placeвБ†вАФ(but where, I canвАЩt recollect now) speaking of my book as a machine, and laying my pen and ruler down crosswise upon the table, in order to gain the greater credit to itвБ†вАФI swore it should be kept a going at that rate these forty years, if it pleased but the fountain of life to bless me so long with health and good spirits. + 

Now as for my spirits, little have I to lay to their chargeвБ†вАФnay so very little (unless the mounting me upon a long stick and playing the fool with me nineteen hours out of the twenty-four, be accusations) that on the contrary, I have muchвБ†вАФmuch to thank вАЩem for: cheerily have ye made me tread the path of life with all the burdens of it (except its cares) upon my back; in no one moment of my existence, that I remember, have ye once deserted me, or tinged the objects which came in my way, either with sable, or with a sickly green; in dangers ye gilded my horizon with hope, and when Death himself knocked at my doorвБ†вАФye bad him come again; and in so gay a tone of careless indifference did ye do it, that he doubted of his commissionвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вАЬвБ†вАФThere must certainly be some mistake in this matter,вАЭ quoth he. + 

Now there is nothing in this world I abominate worse, than to be interrupted in a storyвБ†вЄЇвБ†and I was that moment telling Eugenius a most tawdry one in my way, of a nun who fancied herself a shellfish, and of a monk damnвАЩd for eating a muscle, and was showing him the grounds and justice of the procedureвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вАЬвБ†вАФDid ever so grave a personage get into so vile a scrape?вАЭ quoth Death. Thou hast had a narrow escape, Tristram, said Eugenius, taking hold of my hand as I finished my storyвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

But there is no living, Eugenius, replied I, at this rate; for as this son of a whore has found out my lodgingsвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вАФYou call him rightly, said Eugenius,вБ†вАФfor by sin, we are told, he enterвАЩd the worldвБ†вЄЇвБ†I care not which way he enterвАЩd, quoth I, provided he be not in such a hurry to take me out with himвБ†вАФfor I have forty volumes to write, and forty thousand things to say and do which no body in the world will say and do for me, except thyself; and as thou seest he has got me by the throat (for Eugenius could scarce hear me speak across the table), and that I am no match for him in the open field, had I not better, whilst these few scatterвАЩd spirits remain, and these two spider legs of mine (holding one of them up to him) are able to support meвБ†вАФhad I not better, Eugenius, fly for my life? вАЩTis my advice, my dear Tristram, said EugeniusвБ†вАФThen by heaven! I will lead him a dance he little thinks ofвБ†вЄЇвБ†for I will gallop, quoth I, without looking once behind me, to the banks of the Garonne; and if I hear him clattering at my heelsвБ†вЄЇвБ†IвАЩll scamper away to mount VesuviusвБ†вЄЇвБ†from thence to Joppa, and from Joppa to the worldвАЩs end; where, if he follows me, I pray God he may break his neckвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вАФHe runs more risk there, said Eugenius, than thou. + 

EugeniusвАЩs wit and affection brought blood into the cheek from whence it had been some months banishвАЩdвБ†вЄЇвАЩtwas a vile moment to bid adieu in; he led me to my chaiseвБ†вЄЇвБ†Allons! said I; the postboy gave a crack with his whipвБ†вЄЇвБ†off I went like a cannon, and in half a dozen bounds got into Dover. + 