IX + 

What a chapter of chances, said my father, turning himself about upon the first landing, as he and my uncle Toby were going downstairsвБ†вАФwhat a long chapter of chances do the events of this world lay open to us! Take pen and ink in hand, brother Toby, and calculate it fairlyвБ†вЄЇвБ†I know no more of calculation than this balluster, said my uncle Toby (striking short of it with his crutch, and hitting my father a desperate blow souse upon his shinbone)вБ†вЄЇвАЩTwas a hundred to oneвБ†вАФcried my uncle TobyвБ†вАФI thought, quoth my father (rubbing his shin), you had known nothing of calculations, brother Toby. вАЩTis a mere chance, said my uncle Toby.вБ†вЄїThen it adds one to the chapterвБ†вЄЇвБ†replied my father. + 

The double success of my fatherвАЩs repartees tickled off the pain of his shin at onceвБ†вАФit was well it so fell outвБ†вАФ(chance! again)вБ†вАФor the world to this day had never known the subject of my fatherвАЩs calculationвБ†вЄЇвБ†to guess itвБ†вАФthere was no chanceвБ†вЄЇвБ†What a lucky chapter of chances has this turned out! for it has saved me the trouble of writing one express, and in truth I have enough already upon my hands without it.вБ†вАФHave not I promised the world a chapter of knots? two chapters upon the right and the wrong end of a woman? a chapter upon whiskers? a chapter upon wishes?вБ†вЄЇвБ†a chapter of noses?вБ†вАФNo, I have done thatвБ†вАФa chapter upon my uncle TobyвАЩs modesty? to say nothing of a chapter upon chapters, which I will finish before I sleepвБ†вАФby my great-grandfatherвАЩs whiskers, I shall never get half of вАЩem through this year. + 

Take pen and ink in hand, and calculate it fairly, brother Toby, said my father, and it will turn out a million to one, that of all the parts of the body, the edge of the forceps should have the ill luck just to fall upon and break down that one part, which should break down the fortunes of our house with it. + 

It might have been worse, replied my uncle Toby.вБ†вЄЇвБ†I donвАЩt comprehend, said my father.вБ†вЄїSuppose the hip had presented, replied my uncle Toby, as Dr.¬†Slop foreboded. + 

My father reflected half a minuteвБ†вАФlooked downвБ†вЄЇвБ†touched the middle of his forehead slightly with his fingerвБ†вЄї + 

вАФTrue, said he. + 