XXVI
Fifty thousand pannier loads of devilsвБ†вАФ(not of the Archbishop of BeneventoвАЩs,вБ†вАФI mean of RabelaisвАЩs devils) with their tails chopped off by their rumps, could not have made so diabolical a scream of it, as I didвБ†вАФwhen the accident befell me: it summoned up my mother instantly into the nursery,вБ†вАФso that Susannah had but just time to make her escape down the back stairs, as my mother came up the fore.
Now, though I was old enough to have told the story myself,вБ†вАФand young enough, I hope, to have done it without malignity; yet Susannah, in passing by the kitchen, for fear of accidents, had left it in shorthand with the cookвБ†вАФthe cook had told it with a commentary to Jonathan, and Jonathan to Obadiah; so that by the time my father had rung the bell half a dozen times, to know what was the matter above,вБ†вАФwas Obadiah enabled to give him a particular account of it, just as it had happened.вБ†вАФI thought as much, said my father, tucking up his nightgown;вБ†вАФand so walked upstairs.
One would imagine from thisвБ†вЄЇ(though for my own part I somewhat question it)вБ†вАФthat my father, before that time, had actually wrote that remarkable character in the Tristra-paedia, which to me is the most original and entertaining one in the whole book;вБ†вАФand that is the chapter upon sash-windows, with a bitter Philippick at the end of it, upon the forgetfulness of chambermaids.вБ†вАФI have but two reasons for thinking otherwise.
First, Had the matter been taken into consideration, before the event happened, my father certainly would have nailed up the sash window for good anвАЩ all;вБ†вАФwhich, considering with what difficulty he composed books,вБ†вАФhe might have done with ten times less trouble, than he could have wrote the chapter: this argument I foresee holds good against his writing a chapter, even after the event; but вАЩtis obviated under the second reason, which I have the honour to offer to the world in support of my opinion, that my father did not write the chapter upon sash-windows and chamberpots, at the time supposed,вБ†вАФand it is this.
вЄЇвБ†That, in order to render the Tristra-paedia complete,вБ†вАФI wrote the chapter myself.