XVIII
Your honour, said Trim, shutting the parlour-door before he began to speak, has heard, I imagine, of this unlucky accidentвБ†вЄЇвБ†O yes, Trim, said my uncle Toby, and it gives me great concern.вБ†вАФI am heartily concerned too, but I hope your honour, replied Trim, will do me the justice to believe, that it was not in the least owing to me.вБ†вЄЇвБ†To theeвБ†вАФTrim?вБ†вАФcried my uncle Toby, looking kindly in his faceвБ†вЄївАЩtwas SusannahвАЩs and the curateвАЩs folly betwixt them.вБ†вЄїWhat business could they have together, anвАЩ please your honour, in the garden?вБ†вЄЇвБ†In the gallery thou meanest, replied my uncle Toby.
Trim found he was upon a wrong scent, and stopped short with a low bowвБ†вЄЇвБ†Two misfortunes, quoth the corporal to himself, are twice as many at least as are needful to be talked over at one time;вБ†вЄЇвБ†the mischief the cow has done in breaking into the fortifications, may be told his honour hereafter.вБ†вЄЇвБ†TrimвАЩs casuistry and address, under the cover of his low bow, prevented all suspicion in my uncle Toby, so he went on with what he had to say to Trim as follows:
вЄїFor my own part, Trim, though I can see little or no difference betwixt my nephewвАЩs being called Tristram or TrismegistusвБ†вАФyet as the thing sits so near my brotherвАЩs heart, TrimвБ†вЄїI would freely have given a hundred pounds rather than it should have happened.вБ†вЄЇвБ†A hundred pounds, anвАЩ please your honour! replied Trim,вБ†вЄЇвБ†I would not give a cherrystone to boot.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Nor would I, Trim, upon my own account, quoth my uncle Toby,вБ†вЄЇвЄЇвБ†but my brother, whom there is no arguing with in this caseвБ†вАФmaintains that a great deal more depends, Trim, upon christian-names, than what ignorant people imagineвБ†вЄЇвБ†for he says there never was a great or heroic action performed since the world began by one called TristramвБ†вАФnay, he will have it, Trim, that a man can neither be learned, or wise, or brave.вБ†вЄЇвАЩTis all fancy, anвАЩ please your honourвБ†вАФI fought just as well, replied the corporal, when the regiment called me Trim, as when they called me James Butler.вБ†вЄЇвБ†And for my own part, said my uncle Toby, though I should blush to boast of myself, TrimвБ†вЄЇвБ†yet had my name been Alexander, I could have done no more at Namur than my duty.вБ†вАФBless your honour! cried Trim, advancing three steps as he spoke, does a man think of his christian-name when he goes upon the attack?вБ†вЄїOr when he stands in the trench, Trim? cried my uncle Toby, looking firm.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Or when he enters a breach? said Trim, pushing in between two chairs.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Or forces the lines? cried my uncle, rising up, and pushing his crutch like a pike.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Or facing a platoon? cried Trim, presenting his stick like a firelock.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Or when he marches up the glacis? cried my uncle Toby, looking warm and setting his foot upon his stool.вБ†вЄї