I
вЄЇвАЬI wish, Dr.¬†Slop,вАЭ quoth my uncle Toby, (repeating his wish for Dr.¬†Slop a second time, and with a degree of more zeal and earnestness in his manner of wishing, than he had wished at first)вБ†вЄЇвАЬI wish, Dr.¬†Slop,вАЭ quoth my uncle Toby, вАЬyou had seen what prodigious armies we had in Flanders.вАЭ
My uncle TobyвАЩs wish did Dr.¬†Slop a disservice which his heart never intended any man,вБ†вАФSir, it confounded himвБ†вЄЇвБ†and thereby putting his ideas first into confusion, and then to flight, he could not rally them again for the soul of him.
In all disputes,вБ†вЄЇвБ†male or female,вБ†вЄЇвБ†whether for honour, for profit, or for love,вБ†вАФit makes no difference in the case;вБ†вАФnothing is more dangerous, Madam, than a wish coming sideways in this unexpected manner upon a man: the safest way in general to take off the force of the wish, is for the party wishвАЩd at, instantly to get upon his legsвБ†вАФand wish the wisher something in return, of pretty near the same value,вБ†вЄЇвБ†so balancing the account upon the spot, you stand as you wereвБ†вАФnay sometimes gain the advantage of the attack by it.
This will be fully illustrated to the world in my chapter of wishes.вБ†вАФ
Dr.¬†Slop did not understand the nature of this defence;вБ†вАФhe was puzzled with it, and it put an entire stop to the dispute for four minutes and a half;вБ†вАФfive had been fatal to it:вБ†вАФmy father saw the dangerвБ†вАФthe dispute was one of the most interesting disputes in the world, вАЬWhether the child of his prayers and endeavours should be born without a head or with one:вАЭвБ†вАФhe waited to the last moment, to allow Dr.¬†Slop, in whose behalf the wish was made, his right of returning it; but perceiving, I say, that he was confounded, and continued looking with that perplexed vacuity of eye which puzzled souls generally stare withвБ†вАФfirst in my uncle TobyвАЩs faceвБ†вАФthen in hisвБ†вАФthen upвБ†вАФthen downвБ†вАФthen eastвБ†вАФeast and by east, and so on,вБ†вЄЇвБ†coasting it along by the plinth of the wainscot till he had got to the opposite point of the compass,вБ†вЄЇвБ†and that he had actually begun to count the brass nails upon the arm of his chair,вБ†вАФmy father thought there was no time to be lost with my uncle Toby, so took up the discourse as follows.