XXXIX
There was not any one scene more entertaining in our familyвБ†вАФand to do it justice in this point;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and I here put off my cap and lay it upon the table close beside my ink-horn, on purpose to make my declaration to the world concerning this one article the more solemnвБ†вЄЇвБ†that I believe in my soul (unless my love and partiality to my understanding blinds me) the hand of the supreme Maker and first Designer of all things never made or put a family together (in that period at least of it which I have sat down to write the story of)вБ†вЄЇвБ†where the characters of it were cast or contrasted with so dramatick a felicity as ours was, for this end; or in which the capacities of affording such exquisite scenes, and the powers of shifting them perpetually from morning to night, were lodged and entrusted with so unlimited a confidence, as in the Shandy Family.
Not any one of these was more diverting, I say, in this whimsical theatre of oursвБ†вЄЇвБ†than what frequently arose out of this selfsame chapter of long nosesвБ†вЄїespecially when my fatherвАЩs imagination was heated with the enquiry, and nothing would serve him but to heat my uncle TobyвАЩs too.
My uncle Toby would give my father all possible fair play in this attempt; and with infinite patience would sit smoaking his pipe for whole hours together, whilst my father was practising upon his head, and trying every accessible avenue to drive Prignitz and ScroderusвАЩs solutions into it.
Whether they were above my uncle TobyвАЩs reasonвБ†вЄїor contrary to itвБ†вЄїor that his brain was like damp timber, and no spark could possibly take holdвБ†вЄЇвБ†or that it was so full of saps, mines, blinds, curtins, and such military disqualifications to his seeing clearly into Prignitz and ScroderusвАЩs doctrinesвБ†вЄЇвБ†I say notвБ†вАФlet schoolmenвБ†вАФscullions, anatomists, and engineers, fight for it among themselvesвБ†вЄЇвБ†
вАЩTwas some misfortune, I make no doubt, in this affair, that my father had every word of it to translate for the benefit of my uncle Toby, and render out of SlawkenbergiusвАЩs Latin, of which, as he was no great master, his translation was not always of the purestвБ†вЄЇвБ†and generally least so where вАЩtwas most wanted.вБ†вАФThis naturally openвАЩd a door to a second misfortune;вБ†вЄЇвБ†that in the warmer paroxysms of his zeal to open my uncle TobyвАЩs eyesвБ†вЄїmy fatherвАЩs ideas ran on as much faster than the translation, as the translation outmoved my uncle TobyвАЩsвБ†вЄїneither the one or the other added much to the perspicuity of my fatherвАЩs lecture.