XI
I am so impatient to return to my own story, that what remains of young Le FeverвАЩs, that is, from this turn of his fortune, to the time my uncle Toby recommended him for my preceptor, shall be told in a very few words in the next chapter.вБ†вАФAll that is necessary to be added to this chapter is as follows.вБ†вАФ
That my uncle Toby, with young Le Fever in his hand, attended the poor lieutenant, as chief mourners, to his grave.
That the governor of Dendermond paid his obsequies all military honours,вБ†вАФand that Yorick, not to be behindhandвБ†вАФpaid him all ecclesiasticвБ†вАФfor he buried him in his chancel:вБ†вАФAnd it appears likewise, he preached a funeral sermon over himвБ†вЄЇвБ†I say it appears,вБ†вАФfor it was YorickвАЩs custom, which I suppose a general one with those of his profession, on the first leaf of every sermon which he composed, to chronicle down the time, the place, and the occasion of its being preached: to this, he was ever wont to add some short comment or stricture upon the sermon itself, seldom, indeed, much to its credit:вБ†вАФFor instance, This sermon upon the Jewish dispensationвБ†вАФI donвАЩt like it at all;вБ†вАФThough I own there is a world of water-landish knowledge in it,вБ†вАФbut вАЩtis all tritical, and most tritically put together.вБ†вЄїThis is but a flimsy kind of a composition; what was in my head when I made it?
вЄЇвБ†N.B. The excellency of this text is, that it will suit any sermon,вБ†вАФand of this sermon,вБ†вЄЇвБ†that it will suit any text.вБ†вЄї
вЄЇвБ†For this sermon I shall be hanged,вБ†вАФfor I have stolen the greatest part of it. Doctor Paidagunes found me out. вШЮ Set a thief to catch a thief.вБ†вЄї
On the back of half a dozen I find written, So, so, and no moreвБ†вЄЇвБ†and upon a couple Moderato; by which, as far as one may gather from AltieriвАЩs Italian dictionary,вБ†вАФbut mostly from the authority of a piece of green whipcord, which seemed to have been the unravelling of YorickвАЩs whiplash, with which he has left us the two sermons marked Moderato, and the half dozen of So, so, tied fast together in one bundle by themselves,вБ†вАФone may safely suppose he meant pretty near the same thing.
There is but one difficulty in the way of this conjecture, which is this, that the moderatoвАЩs are five times better than the so, soвАЩs;вБ†вАФshow ten times more knowledge of the human heart;вБ†вАФhave seventy times more wit and spirit in them;вБ†вАФ(and, to rise properly in my climax)вБ†вАФdiscovered a thousand times more genius;вБ†вАФand to crown all, are infinitely more entertaining than those tied up with them:вБ†вАФfor which reason, wheneвАЩer YorickвАЩs dramatic sermons are offered to the world, though I shall admit but one out of the whole number of the so, soвАЩs, I shall, nevertheless, adventure to print the two moderatoвАЩs without any sort of scruple.
What Yorick could mean by the words lentamente,вБ†вАФtenut√®,вБ†вАФgrave,вБ†вАФand sometimes adagio,вБ†вАФas applied to theological compositions, and with which he has characterised some of these sermons, I dare not venture to guess.вБ†вЄЇвБ†I am more puzzled still upon finding a lвАЩoctava alta! upon one;вБ†вЄЇвБ†Con strepito upon the back of another;вБ†вЄЇвБ†Siciliana upon a third;вБ†вЄЇвБ†Alla capella upon a fourth;вБ†вЄЇвБ†Con lвАЩarco upon this;вБ†вЄЇвБ†Senza lвАЩarco upon that.вБ†вЄЇвБ†All I know is, that they are musical terms, and have a meaning;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and as he was a musical man, I will make no doubt, but that by some quaint application of such metaphors to the compositions in hand, they impressed very distinct ideas of their several characters upon his fancy,вБ†вАФwhatever they may do upon that of others.
Amongst these, there is that particular sermon which has unaccountably led me into this digressionвБ†вЄЇвБ†The funeral sermon upon poor Le Fever, wrote out very fairly, as if from a hasty copy.вБ†вАФI take notice of it the more, because it seems to have been his favourite compositionвБ†вЄЇвБ†It is upon mortality; and is tied lengthways and crossways with a yarn thrum, and then rolled up and twisted round with a half-sheet of dirty blue paper, which seems to have been once the cast cover of a general review, which to this day smells horribly of horse drugs.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Whether these marks of humiliation were designed,вБ†вАФI something doubt;вБ†вЄЇвБ†because at the end of the sermon (and not at the beginning of it)вБ†вАФvery different from his way of treating the rest, he had wroteвБ†вЄЇвБ†
Bravo!
вЄЇвБ†Though not very offensively,вБ†вЄЇвБ†for it is at two inches, at least, and a halfвАЩs distance from, and below the concluding line of the sermon, at the very extremity of the page, and in that right hand corner of it, which, you know, is generally covered with your thumb; and, to do it justice, it is wrote besides with a crowвАЩs quill so faintly in a small Italian hand, as scarce to solicit the eye towards the place, whether your thumb is there or not,вБ†вАФso that from the manner of it, it stands half excused; and being wrote moreover with very pale ink, diluted almost to nothing,вБ†вАФвАЩtis more like a ritratto of the shadow of vanity, than of Vanity herselfвБ†вАФof the two; resembling rather a faint thought of transient applause, secretly stirring up in the heart of the composer; than a gross mark of it, coarsely obtruded upon the world.
With all these extenuations, I am aware, that in publishing this, I do no service to YorickвАЩs character as a modest man;вБ†вАФbut all men have their failings! and what lessens this still farther, and almost wipes it away, is this; that the word was struck through sometime afterwards (as appears from a different tint of the ink) with a line quite across it in this manner, bravoвБ†вЄЇвБ†as if he had retracted, or was ashamed of the opinion he had once entertained of it.
These short characters of his sermons were always written, excepting in this one instance, upon the first leaf of his sermon, which served as a cover to it; and usually upon the inside of it, which was turned towards the text;вБ†вАФbut at the end of his discourse, where, perhaps, he had five or six pages, and sometimes, perhaps, a whole score to turn himself in,вБ†вАФhe took a large circuit, and, indeed, a much more mettlesome one;вБ†вАФas if he had snatched the occasion of unlacing himself with a few more frolicksome strokes at vice, than the straitness of the pulpit allowed.вБ†вАФThese, though hussar-like, they skirmish lightly and out of all order, are still auxiliaries on the side of virtue;вБ†вАФtell me then, Mynheer Vander Blonederdondergewdenstronke, why they should not be printed together?