XV
Had this volume been a farce, which, unless everyoneвАЩs life and opinions are to be looked upon as a farce as well as mine, I see no reason to supposeвБ†вАФthe last chapter, Sir, had finished the first act of it, and then this chapter must have set off thus.
Ptr..r..r..ingвБ†вАФtwingвБ†вАФtwangвБ†вАФprutвБ†вАФtrutвБ†вЄЇвАЩtis a cursed bad fiddle.вБ†вАФDo you know whether my fiddleвАЩs in tune or no?вБ†вАФtrut..prut..вБ†вАФThey should be fifths.вБ†вЄЇвАЩTis wickedly strungвБ†вАФtrвБ†вАКвБ†вА¶ a.e.i.o.u.-twang.вБ†вАФThe bridge is a mile too high, and the sound post absolutely down,вБ†вАФelseвБ†вАФtrut .¬†. prutвБ†вАФhark! вАЩtis not so bad a tone.вБ†вАФDiddle diddle, diddle diddle, diddle diddle, dum. There is nothing in playing before good judges,вБ†вАФbut thereвАЩs a man thereвБ†вАФnoвБ†вАФnot him with the bundle under his armвБ†вАФthe grave man in black.вБ†вАФвАЩSdeath! not the gentleman with the sword on.вБ†вАФSir, I had rather play a Caprichio to Calliope herself, than draw my bow across my fiddle before that very man; and yet IвАЩll stake my Cremona to a JewвАЩs trump, which is the greatest musical odds that ever were laid, that I will this moment stop three hundred and fifty leagues out of tune upon my fiddle, without punishing one single nerve that belongs to himвБ†вАФTwaddle diddle, tweddle diddle,вБ†вАФtwiddle diddle,вБ†вЄЇвБ†twoddle diddle,вБ†вАФtwuddle diddle,вБ†вЄЇвБ†prut trutвБ†вАФkrishвБ†вАФkrashвБ†вАФkrush.вБ†вАФIвАЩve undone you, Sir,вБ†вАФbut you see heвАЩs no worse,вБ†вАФand was Apollo to take his fiddle after me, he can make him no better.
Diddle diddle, diddle diddle, diddle diddleвБ†вАФhumвБ†вАФdumвБ†вАФdrum.
вАФYour worships and your reverences love musicвБ†вАФand God has made you all with good earsвБ†вАФand some of you play delightfully yourselvesвБ†вАФtrut-prut,вБ†вАФprut-trut.
O! there isвБ†вАФwhom I could sit and hear whole days,вБ†вАФwhose talents lie in making what he fiddles to be felt,вБ†вАФwho inspires me with his joys and hopes, and puts the most hidden springs of my heart into motion.вБ†вАФIf you would borrow five guineas of me, Sir,вБ†вАФwhich is generally ten guineas more than I have to spareвБ†вАФor you Messrs. Apothecary and Taylor, want your bills paying,вБ†вАФthatвАЩs your time.