XVII + 

The ancient Goths of Germany, who (the learned Cluverius is positive) were first seated in the country between the Vistula and the Oder, and who afterwards incorporated the Herculi, the Bugians, and some other Vandallick clans to вАЩemвБ†вАФhad all of them a wise custom of debating everything of importance to their state, twice; that is,вБ†вАФonce drunk, and once sober:вБ†вЄЇвБ†Drunk,вБ†вАФthat their councils might not want vigour;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and soberвБ†вАФthat they might not want discretion. + 

Now my father being entirely a water-drinker,вБ†вАФwas a long time gravelled almost to death, in turning this as much to his advantage, as he did every other thing which the ancients did or said; and it was not till the seventh year of his marriage, after a thousand fruitless experiments and devices, that he hit upon an expedient which answered the purpose;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and that was, when any difficult and momentous point was to be settled in the family, which required great sobriety, and great spirit too, in its determination,вБ†вЄЇвБ†he fixed and set apart the first Sunday night in the month, and the Saturday night which immediately preceded it, to argue it over, in bed, with my mother: By which contrivance, if you consider, Sir, with yourself, * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * + 

These my father, humorously enough, called his beds of justice;вБ†вЄЇвБ†for from the two different counsels taken in these two different humours, a middle one was generally found out which touched the point of wisdom as well, as if he had got drunk and sober a hundred times. + 

It must not be made a secret of to the world, that this answers full as well in literary discussions, as either in military or conjugal; but it is not every author that can try the experiment as the Goths and Vandals did itвБ†вЄЇвБ†or, if he can, may it be always for his bodyвАЩs health; and to do it, as my father did it,вБ†вАФam I sure it would be always for his soulвАЩs. + 

My way is this:вБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

In all nice and ticklish discussionsвБ†вАФ(of which, heaven knows, there are but too many in my book),вБ†вАФwhere I find I cannot take a step without the danger of having either their worships or their reverences upon my backвБ†вЄЇвБ†I write one-half full,вБ†вАФand tвАЩother fasting;вБ†вЄЇвБ†or write it all full,вБ†вАФand correct it fasting:вБ†вЄЇвБ†or write it fasting,вБ†вАФand correct it full, for they all come to the same thing:вБ†вЄЇвБ†So that with a less variation from my fatherвАЩs plan, than my fatherвАЩs from the GothickвБ†вЄЇвБ†I feel myself upon a par with him in his first bed of justice,вБ†вАФand no way inferior to him in his second.вБ†вЄЇвБ†These different and almost irreconcileable effects, flow uniformly from the wise and wonderful mechanism of nature,вБ†вАФof which,вБ†вАФbe hers the honour.вБ†вЄЇвБ†All that we can do, is to turn and work the machine to the improvement and better manufactory of the arts and sciences.вБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

Now, when I write full,вБ†вАФI write as if I was never to write fasting again as long as I live;вБ†вЄЇвБ†that is, I write free from the cares as well as the terrors of the world.вБ†вЄЇвБ†I count not the number of my scars,вБ†вАФnor does my fancy go forth into dark entries and bye-corners to antedate my stabs.вБ†вЄЇвБ†In a word, my pen takes its course; and I write on as much from the fullness of my heart, as my stomach.вБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

But when, anвАЩ please your honours, I indite fasting, вАЩtis a different history.вБ†вЄЇвБ†I pay the world all possible attention and respect,вБ†вАФand have as great a share (whilst it lasts) of that under-strapping virtue of discretion as the best of you.вБ†вЄЇвБ†So that betwixt both, I write a careless kind of a civil, nonsensical, good-humoured Shandean book, which will do all your hearts goodвБ†вЄї + 

вЄЇвБ†And all your heads too,вБ†вАФprovided you understand it. + 