XXXIII + 

вЄЇвБ†That provision should be made for continuing the race of so great, so exalted and godlike a Being as manвБ†вАФI am far from denyingвБ†вАФbut philosophy speaks freely of everything; and therefore I still think and do maintain it to be a pity, that it should be done by means of a passion which bends down the faculties, and turns all the wisdom, contemplations, and operations of the soul backwardsвБ†вЄЇвБ†a passion, my dear, continued my father, addressing himself to my mother, which couples and equals wise men with fools, and makes us come out of our caverns and hiding-places more like satyrs and four-footed beasts than men. + 

I know it will be said, continued my father (availing himself of the Prolepsis), that in itself, and simply takenвБ†вЄЇвБ†like hunger, or thirst, or sleepвБ†вЄЇвАЩtis an affair neither good or badвБ†вАФor shameful or otherwise.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Why then did the delicacy of Diogenes and Plato so recalcitrate against it? and wherefore, when we go about to make and plant a man, do we put out the candle? and for what reason is it, that all the parts thereofвБ†вАФthe congredientsвБ†вАФthe preparationsвБ†вАФthe instruments, and whatever serves thereto, are so held as to be conveyed to a cleanly mind by no language, translation, or periphrasis whatever? + 

вЄЇвБ†The act of killing and destroying a man, continued my father, raising his voiceвБ†вАФand turning to my uncle TobyвБ†вАФyou see, is gloriousвБ†вАФand the weapons by which we do it are honourableвБ†вЄЇвБ†We march with them upon our shouldersвБ†вЄЇвБ†We strut with them by our sidesвБ†вЄЇвБ†We gild themвБ†вЄЇвБ†We carve themвБ†вЄЇвБ†We inlay themвБ†вЄЇвБ†We enrich themвБ†вЄЇвБ†Nay, if it be but a scoundrel cannon, we cast an ornament upon the breach of it.вБ†вАФ + 

вЄЇвБ†My uncle Toby laid down his pipe to intercede for a better epithetвБ†вЄЇвБ†and Yorick was rising up to batter the whole hypothesis to piecesвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вЄЇвБ†When Obadiah broke into the middle of the room with a complaint, which cried out for an immediate hearing. + 

The case was this: + 

My father, whether by ancient custom of the manor, or as impropriator of the great tythes, was obliged to keep a Bull for the service of the Parish, and Obadiah had led his cow upon a pop-visit to him one day or other the preceding summerвБ†вЄЇвБ†I say, one day or otherвБ†вАФbecause as chance would have it, it was the day on which he was married to my fatherвАЩs housemaidвБ†вЄЇвБ†so one was a reckoning to the other. Therefore when ObadiahвАЩs wife was brought to bedвБ†вАФObadiah thanked GodвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вЄЇвБ†Now, said Obadiah, I shall have a calf: so Obadiah went daily to visit his cow. + 

SheвАЩll calve on MondayвБ†вАФon TuesdayвБ†вАФon Wednesday at the farthestвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

The cow did not calveвБ†вЄЇвБ†noвБ†вАФsheвАЩll not calve till next weekвБ†вЄЇвБ†the cow put it off terriblyвБ†вЄЇвБ†till at the end of the sixth week ObadiahвАЩs suspicions (like a good manвАЩs) fell upon the Bull. + 

Now the parish being very large, my fatherвАЩs Bull, to speak the truth of him, was no way equal to the department; he had, however, got himself, somehow or other, thrust into employmentвБ†вАФand as he went through the business with a grave face, my father had a high opinion of him. + 

вЄЇвБ†Most of the townsmen, anвАЩ please your worship, quoth Obadiah, believe that вАЩtis all the BullвАЩs faultвБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

вЄЇвБ†But may not a cow be barren? replied my father, turning to Doctor Slop. + 

It never happens: said Dr.¬†Slop, but the manвАЩs wife may have come before her time naturally enoughвБ†вЄЇвБ†Prithee has the child hair upon his head?вБ†вАФadded Dr.¬†SlopвБ†вЄї + 

вЄЇвБ†It is as hairy as I am; said Obadiah.вБ†вЄЇвБ†Obadiah had not been shaved for three weeksвБ†вЄЇвБ†Wheu -¬†- u -¬†-¬†-¬†- u -¬†-¬†-¬†-¬†-¬†-¬†-¬†- cried my father; beginning the sentence with an exclamatory whistleвБ†вЄЇвБ†and so, brother Toby, this poor Bull of mine, who is as good a Bull as ever pвБ†вЄЇвБ†ssвАЩd, and might have done for Europa herself in purer timesвБ†вЄЇвБ†had he but two legs less, might have been driven into Doctors Commons and lost his characterвБ†вЄЇвБ†which to a Town Bull, brother Toby, is the very same thing as his lifeвБ†вЄї + 

LвБ†вЄЇвБ†d! said my mother, what is all this story about?вБ†вЄЇвБ† + 

A cock and a bull, said YorickвБ†вЄЇвБ†And one of the best of its kind, I ever heard. + 