XI
Yorick was this parsonвАЩs name, and, what is very remarkable in it (as appears from a most ancient account of the family, wrote upon strong vellum, and now in perfect preservation) it had been exactly so spelt for near,вБ†вЄЇвБ†I was within an ace of saying nine hundred years;вБ†вЄЇвБ†but I would not shake my credit in telling an improbable truth, however indisputable in itself;вБ†вЄЇвБ†and therefore I shall content myself with only sayingвБ†вЄЇвБ†It had been exactly so spelt, without the least variation or transposition of a single letter, for I do not know how long; which is more than I would venture to say of one half of the best surnames in the kingdom; which, in a course of years, have generally undergone as many chops and changes as their owners.вБ†вАФHas this been owing to the pride, or to the shame of the respective proprietors?вБ†вАФIn honest truth, I think sometimes to the one, and sometimes to the other, just as the temptation has wrought. But a villainous affair it is, and will one day so blend and confound us altogether, that no one shall be able to stand up and swear, вАЬThat his own great grandfather was the man who did either this or that.вАЭ
This evil had been sufficiently fenced against by the prudent care of the YorickвАЩs family, and their religious preservation of these records I quote, which do farther inform us, That the family was originally of Danish extraction, and had been transplanted into England as early as in the reign of Horwendillus, king of Denmark, in whose court, it seems, an ancestor of this Mr.¬†YorickвАЩs, and from whom he was lineally descended, held a considerable post to the day of his death. Of what nature this considerable post was, this record saith not;вБ†вАФIt only adds, That, for near two centuries, it had been totally abolished, as altogether unnecessary, not only in that court, but in every other court of the Christian world.
It has often come into my head, that this post could be no other than that of the kingвАЩs chief Jester;вБ†вАФand that HamletвАЩs Yorick, in our Shakespeare, many of whose plays, you know, are founded upon authenticated facts, was certainly the very man.
I have not the time to look into Saxo-GrammaticusвАЩs Danish History, to know the certainty of this;вБ†вАФbut if you have leisure, and can easily get at the book, you may do it full as well yourself.
I had just time, in my travels through Denmark with Mr.¬†NoddyвАЩs eldest son, whom, in the year 1741, I accompanied as governor, riding along with him at a prodigious rate throвАЩ most parts of Europe, and of which original journey performed by us two, a most delectable narrative will be given in the progress of this work; I had just time, I say, and that was all, to prove the truth of an observation made by a long sojourner in that country;вБ†вЄЇвБ†namely, вАЬThat nature was neither very lavish, nor was she very stingy in her gifts of genius and capacity to its inhabitants;вБ†вАФbut, like a discreet parent, was moderately kind to them all; observing such an equal tenor in the distribution of her favours, as to bring them, in those points, pretty near to a level with each other; so that you will meet with few instances in that kingdom of refined parts; but a great deal of good plain household understanding amongst all ranks of people, of which everybody has a share;вАЭ which is, I think, very right.
With us, you see, the case is quite different:вБ†вАФwe are all ups and downs in this matter;вБ†вАФyou are a great genius;вБ†вАФor вАЩtis fifty to one, Sir, you are a great dunce and a blockhead;вБ†вАФnot that there is a total want of intermediate steps,вБ†вАФno,вБ†вАФwe are not so irregular as that comes to;вБ†вАФbut the two extremes are more common, and in a greater degree in this unsettled island, where nature, in her gifts and dispositions of this kind, is most whimsical and capricious; fortune herself not being more so in the bequest of her goods and chattels than she.
This is all that ever staggered my faith in regard to YorickвАЩs extraction, who, by what I can remember of him, and by all the accounts I could ever get of him, seemed not to have had one single drop of Danish blood in his whole crasis; in nine hundred years, it might possibly have all run out:вБ†вЄЇвБ†I will not philosophize one moment with you about it; for happen how it would, the fact was this:вБ†вАФThat instead of that cold phlegm and exact regularity of sense and humours, you would have looked for, in one so extracted;вБ†вАФhe was, on the contrary, as mercurial and sublimated a composition,вБ†вАФas heteroclite a creature in all his declensions;вБ†вАФwith as much life and whim, and gait√© de c≈Уur about him, as the kindliest climate could have engendered and put together. With all this sail, poor Yorick carried not one ounce of ballast; he was utterly unpractised in the world; and, at the age of twenty-six, knew just about as well how to steer his course in it, as a romping, unsuspicious girl of thirteen: So that upon his first setting out, the brisk gale of his spirits, as you will imagine, ran him foul ten times in a day of somebodyвАЩs tackling; and as the grave and more slow-paced were oftenest in his way,вБ†вЄЇвБ†you may likewise imagine, вАЩtwas with such he had generally the ill luck to get the most entangled. For aught I know there might be some mixture of unlucky wit at the bottom of such Fracas:вБ†вЄЇвБ†For, to speak the truth, Yorick had an invincible dislike and opposition in his nature to gravity;вБ†вАФnot to gravity as such;вБ†вАФfor where gravity was wanted, he would be the most grave or serious of mortal men for days and weeks together;вБ†вАФbut he was an enemy to the affectation of it, and declared open war against it, only as it appeared a cloak for ignorance, or for folly: and then, whenever it fell in his way, however sheltered and protected, he seldom gave it much quarter.
Sometimes, in his wild way of talking, he would say that Gravity was an errant scoundrel, and he would add,вБ†вАФof the most dangerous kind too,вБ†вАФbecause a sly one; and that he verily believed, more honest, well-meaning people were bubbled out of their goods and money by it in one twelvemonth, than by pocket-picking and shoplifting in seven. In the naked temper which a merry heart discovered, he would say, there was no danger,вБ†вАФbut to itself:вБ†вАФwhereas the very essence of gravity was design, and consequently deceit;вБ†вАФвАЩtwas a taught trick to gain credit of the world for more sense and knowledge than a man was worth; and that, with all its pretensions,вБ†вАФit was no better, but often worse, than what a French wit had long ago defined it,вБ†вАФviz. A mysterious carriage of the body to cover the defects of the mind;вБ†вАФwhich definition of gravity, Yorick, with great imprudence, would say, deserved to be wrote in letters of gold.
But, in plain truth, he was a man unhackneyed and unpractised in the world, and was altogether as indiscreet and foolish on every other subject of discourse where policy is wont to impress restraint. Yorick had no impression but one, and that was what arose from the nature of the deed spoken of; which impression he would usually translate into plain English without any periphrasis;вБ†вАФand too oft without much distinction of either person, time, or place;вБ†вАФso that when mention was made of a pitiful or an ungenerous proceedingвБ†вЄЇвБ†he never gave himself a momentвАЩs time to reflect who was the hero of the piece,вБ†вЄЇвБ†what his station,вБ†вЄЇвБ†or how far he had power to hurt him hereafter;вБ†вЄЇвБ†but if it was a dirty action,вБ†вАФwithout more ado,вБ†вАФThe man was a dirty fellow,вБ†вАФand so on.вБ†вАФAnd as his comments had usually the ill fate to be terminated either in a bon mot, or to be enlivened throughout with some drollery or humour of expression, it gave wings to YorickвАЩs indiscretion. In a word, though he never sought, yet, at the same time, as he seldom shunned occasions of saying what came uppermost, and without much ceremony;вБ†вЄЇвБ†he had but too many temptations in life, of scattering his wit and his humour,вБ†вАФhis gibes and his jests about him.вБ†вЄЇвБ†They were not lost for want of gathering.
What were the consequences, and what was YorickвАЩs catastrophe thereupon, you will read in the next chapter.